My irritable bar syndrome

My irritable bar syndrome is worst at night.

And if thoughts could kill, there’d be bodies galore.

‘Cause the music and crowd noise is so loud, but the singing is even louder.

The French love to sing.

You see, the new owner has spiffed up the bar across the street.

There are crowds there every night until 1:00 AM...

Filling the outdoor tables, then spilling into the street.

In a minute you can see a drawing I did as proof of what I say.

Once the patrons have consumed a few libations, the night will often erupt in off-key renditions of Joyeuse Anniversaire...

The French Happy Birthday song.

Or, if the French national rugby or soccer team is playing in some tournament...

The owner will transplant the wide screen TV outside on the sidewalk, and we may hear renditions of La Marseillaise, the French national anthem.

I have to admit I enjoy that but...

Seriously, when have you ever heard a crowd in the U.S. suddenly start singing the Star-Spangled Banner?

Anyway...

It’s become standard bedtime procedure for us to close all the windows of our apartment and their outside shutters.

Close all the curtains.

And, as last acts of sound dampening, close the bedroom door and (for my wife) insert earplugs.

No apartment dweller should be without them.

So why haven’t we moved?

Well, aren’t you the perceptive one? I thought you’d ask me that.

Despite my irritable bar syndrome, the reason we haven’t budged is...

We have gotten so-o-o damned spoiled.

The area of Montpellier we live in is just so convenient.

Easy walk to the excellent tram system. Easy walk to a multitude of restaurants, shops, grocery stores and entertainment.

We’ve certainly talked about moving. And we sporadically look online at Le Bon Coin.

The French website similar to Craig’s List in the U.S.

My wife has even set up automatic alerts on Le Bon Coin.

She gets a notice whenever an apartment appears that sort of fits our criteria.

But, so far, nothing has excited us enough to pack our toothbrushes.

Where we are would be almost perfect... if it weren’t for that %#@!& bar.

Cure for my irritable bar syndrome?

But I have a Plan!

Here it is.

The building that houses the Bar Palace I mean – as drawn from our living room window.

Bit of challenging perspective there I’ll tell you.

I’ll have a quick question for you about perspective in just a second.

Anyway, the other day I was glaring out at the bar, thinking ill thoughts about my irritable bar syndrome when...

The name Papa Doc Duvalier lit up in my head like a theater marquee.

And gave me a delightfully evil idea.

Now, if you’re too young to remember, Papa Doc ruled Haiti for many years starting in 1957.

He came to power styling himself as a follower of Voodoo.

That was when history crashed into the present and gave me my idea...

How to wreak vengeance on the cursed Bar Palace.

And cure forever my irritable bar syndrome.

All I need is a couple long needles!

My sudden euphoria was based on a tad more back story.

See, on the morning President John F. Kennedy was shot in Dallas...

Rumor in Haiti was that Papa Doc had stabbed a voodoo doll of Kennedy 2,222 times.

Seems Papa Doc’s lucky number was 22.

Well, as all this history swirled through my mind, I realized that while I don’t have a voodoo doll...

I may have a voodoo drawing!!

My foul mood brightened about 200 megawatts.

The idea stood there gleefully grinning at me.

Could I really cause the demise of yonder Bar Palace by perforating my drawing a thousand times with a voodoo needle?

To me the ritual sacrifice of my drawing seemed so-o-o-o-o worth the possible gain.

Desperate people resort to desperate doodoo.

Stay tuned to the 11:00 News from France.

Best Wishes,
Gary Gumble
Founder of BeginningArtist.com
Without art the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable. (George Bernard Shaw)

P.S. OK, I realize you probably don’t have any use for voodoo lore.

But I wondered if some experience-based knowledge of perspective would interest you.

Like I used in my drawing of the Bar Palace.

See, I’m working on a program at the moment. I don’t want to reveal too much about it just yet.

That’ll come later.

But I wondered if a mini course, sort of a simplified Perspective 101, would be a good optional add-on or bonus for the program I’m developing.

And who would be better to ask than you?

Do you ever:

∙ Avoid subjects that involve perspective?

∙ Struggle to draw or paint subjects where perspective is involved?

∙ Wish you knew a little more about perspective so you could draw things from imagination?

Not asking for a credit card or an opt-in to anything.

I’d just like your reaction to this idea of an experience-based mini course on perspective.

If a simple and practical perspective mini course seems interesting to you, send me an email to info@beginningartist.com with the word PERSPECTIVE.

If you have absolutely no interest in perspective, please send me an email to info@beginningartist.com with the words NO NEED.

Thanks a million. I appreciate your advice no matter which it is.